Keeping myself accountable (260 lbs)

My daily reminder

Hello everyone, this may come as a bit of a shock to you, but I'm new to this whole blogging thing. A few years ago, if you would have told me that one day I'd be starting a blog about weight loss, I would have laughed in your face and grabbed another handful of chips. I realize now that this is exactly what I need to help share my success, my frustrations, my goals, and most importantly... to keep myself accountable for my actions. 


About two years ago, I started thinking about exercise. I had crept up to 250  pounds over the first three years of college, and I felt so awful. Each day was a struggle to complete trivial things without getting winded. Luckily I was still working on the farm at that time, trimming trees and helping haul hay every now and then when it was needed. I also started P90X for the first time, and went on a very casual diet (which basically means I only ate slightly too much as opposed to way too much). By the end of the summer, I was down to 225. I could wear some pairs of jeans that I hadn't fit into since high school, and I felt great.


When I returned to Alma for my senior year, I told myself that things were going to be different, that I had finally learned my lesson. Unfortunately, this small success didn't last, and I got right back into my same old habits. Overeating, laziness, and ignorance on my part caused me to gain all the weight back by graduation. I have to admit, I didn't even keep track of my weight that summer. I convinced myself that if I kept busy with my job, my weight would take care of itself. 


When my 3-month contract for my first job was over and they didn't hire me full-time, I was devastated. Looking back, this is when I should have reached out for support instead of isolating myself and looking to food for comfort. My bad habits got worse, and when I went home for Christmas, I was a whopping 275 pounds. 


I have to credit my family, especially my brother, for finally getting me to wake up, the hard way. I had contemplated the idea of looking at the military since job prospects weren't great. I was told by the military members of my family that I would never be make the cut because of my weight. My brother, who is currently serving in the Army, finally cornered me one day in the house, and asked me whether I wanted to die. I was so upset with myself and my family that I couldn't talk for the rest of the day. Looking back, this was just what I needed to hear (Thanks Kevin!)


I'm sick of the pain in my knees and back when I help on the tree farm. I'm sick of watching my family and friends run marathons, compete in kayak and bike races, and lead fit lifestyles, and having to watch from the sidelines. I'm sick of going into the store to buy pants, only to realize that, no, I'm not a 38, I'm a 42 (try finding 42x30 pants, it's not easy). I'm sick of giving in to temptations only to hate myself later.

Today, I'm changing my life. I weighed in at 260 this morning, which equals 15 pounds of weight loss so far in 2012. That's the heaviest I'm ever going to be again. I have the motivation, I have the knowledge, and I have the support. All I need now is action.